Okay. Christmas is just around the corner, and so is New Years Eve. I’ve survived the last day of the year at school and I’m about to head off to the London City Airport to catch my flight to Zurich. Time to review the year. Our final lesson was all about “How was you year?” “What are your New Year’s Resolutions?” And here I am, trying to figure out how I could describe this year properly. 2018 started off with a new love, growing every day a bit more every day. I fell for someone. Like for real and with all my heart, like never before.
2018 has been great in that way. I opened myself up to this guy like I’ve never did before and looking back to this journey – which might not have lasted a long time – I’m very grateful. But as I mentioned 2018 was also the year it ended, which on one hand is sad, but on the other one relieving, because I really gotta get my shit together first before handing it out to someone else. I’d consider myself a free bird, about to take off after learning how to fly the last couple of years. And I can only fly on my own. I might get stronger in the future to carry someone else on my back, but at the moment I need to focus on my own goals.
The first few months of this year were mostly shaped by a 9 to 5 job in a library and a archive. As every other basic job, it has its ups and downs, but I was glad to be done with it at the end of July.
The most amazing part happened in the same month with six other amazing young people. We travelled through Switzerland, experienced different activities, created videos on a daily basis, we wrote, we laughed, we took pictures, we got angry and annoyed, we got hungry and even more annoyed, but we had fun, we had a blast and I’d seriously consider this week the best I’ve ever had.
August was nice. Filled with different people, different places I went and discovered. I worked a bit here, did a bit of everything, tried to get myself together one’s more and fucked it up. But let’s not talk about that, or it this might take forever. Furthermore, I started to get ready for my biggest change this year, happening in the middle of September. The start to something new, one hour behind, 1.5 hours to fly. London. Knowing I had to leave this life I finally started to build up more carefully and specific behind, scared me to hell. I was frightened, nervous, so little excited that I wouldn’t have mind if someone had told me I finally couldn’t go. I actually would have been pretty happy about that.
But in fact, this change ended up being another great choice I made, especially after bonding great new friendships. It’s been tough and a real rollercoaster, and it probably still is and will be until I come back in may next year. But the downs don’t scare me that much anymore. I’m doing ok. I enjoy myself. I laugh. Well, we laugh. We cheer. We travel. We discover. We spend a grant, and another and we swear after the third one, but then we laugh and crash those glasses together one more time before heading home on wobbly feats, blurred visions but satisfied, not realising how much our heads will hurt the day after.
After the plane took off and pushed me back into my seat, I could watch London rushing away underneath us. Looking down on this city of stars, I felt both excitement and sadness in my heart. Glad to go back to my roots after three months abroad, sad because all these lights actually feel like a home too. This not so unfamiliar city gives me slightly comfort. Though Londons hectic and stressed people seem depressed and I feel so underdressed, too “towny” for this big city life, I fell in love with it. Especially the people living there touched my heart and I feel forever grateful for everything I’ve already experienced with them and for everything that’s yet to come.
Now here I am. We landed safely in Switzerland. I’m home. Snuggled in my good old blanked in my familiar childish bedroom, surrounded by a variety of memories. I wonder once again: What has 2018 been like for me? It’s been crazy shit. Lot’s of new awesome people stumbled into my life. People I’d love to stay for as long as possible and people I’m already excited to share 2019 moments with too.
It’s also been very ordinary.
Like any other year before, it was like a crazy rollercoaster.
Though this time this rollercoaster went a bit abroad. That’s all I can say. More to come next year, we’ll see who sticks with me.